Top 10 Worst Dreams

1. Dreaming about the work you do during the day. There's nothing worse than completing a full day of stressful data inputing, only to dream about stressful data inputing.

2. eating some kind of poop

3. Realizing that you are cooler and better looking in your dreams than you are in real life. I know it's - like - a phrase and everything, but waking up and remembering you have pimples all over your chin and that you aren't actually hanging out with Bikini Kill and never will be makes the morning a real drag.

4. claws as hands, hands as claws. How frustrating!

5. Fatworld--oh, wait...

6. When you keep trying to hide from someone, like under a blanket or something, but the blanket ends up not being there or shrinking at an amazing speed. You may or may not be naked.

7. Big, huge teeth (no, this has nothing to do with vaginas.)

8. Small, tiny teeth sharpened to points and soft to the touch.

9. When everyone in your dream is someone you met once like 5 years ago. It makes me feel like my real friends aren't top of mind. Or that they're doing a bad job of staying in my dreams consistently. Get in there friends!

10. The almost-can't-tell-it's-a-dream, dream. You know when you dream about the same exact things you do during the day, but with only slight differences, like your nails are weirdly shaped, or your name is Kristen instead of Kendra, and instead of eating pasta for dinner you eat a burger.

For the record, I was really bothered by the film Inception because the "dreams" all these people were having were not marked with any of the weirdness of actual dreams. They should have had Tim Burton or David Lynch do it, and there should have been giant blueberry-headed dogs, morphing electronics, and cackling witches baking apple pies that periodically walked through the frames. Instead there was - like - a man walking fast, or something that would tip Juno off that she was in a dream. How weeeeeiiiird. Oh yeah, and crumbling buildings. woooooooowwwwwwwyaaaaaaaawwwwwwn.