Internet Grasp Fail

Last week, David Pogue of the NY Times thoughtfully wrote a kind of "basics of social media" column for those who, um, still kind of don't get it (a.k.a older people who've just been faking knowing what the hell everyone else was talking about).

It was kind of interesting, if only to realize the knowledge gap that exists among seemingly smart, astute seniors who held out from accepting digital tools and trends too long, scoffing at the wide, rolling social media waves as a passing flood and only now realizing that no, actually, the world is now built on water like the towns in late 90s Costner-bomb Waterworld and fuck, I better learn to swim (deep breath - still with me?) Luckily, Pogue serves as a version of the Waterworld key to the new world - only instead of a tattooed map on the back of a little girl, his dictionary will save those who've managed to survive this far by drinking their own urine and such. Until we realize just how dire the situation is, as evidenced by this comment by a grateful "swimmer":

"I found this as a first class in a Twitter Communication course. What I had expected and would like as a second class are some of the terms that tweeters use. For example, many people use the acronym "LOL", and the first definitions that I think of are "Lots of Love" or "Lots of Luck". However, when I looked it up on a twitter dictionary what came up was "Laughing out Loud" or something that is funny. I need more help in understanding the language that I receive when someone tweets me."

Prognosis: dire.